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Cameraman
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Meet...Cameraman!

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Cameraman’s “Bio”

 

Truth:

 

            Most people think that in the Willy Wonka movie (this new-fangled one with Johnny “odd haircut” Depp) Mike TV was the only person sent whizzing through the air in a million pieces and assembled back into himself inside a television.

            Most people are wrong.

            WRONG!

            As it happens, once Willy Wonka, Charlie, and Grandpa Joe left in the great glass elevator, another young boy activated the TV machine.

            We won’t tell you how the boy got into the factory…but…it has a lot to do with three squirrels, some New York gangstas, and a REALLY big lollypop.

            May we never speak of this again.

             Anyway, this young boy activated the machine and was about to step in when an Oompa Loompa tackled him.

            This boy was skilled in Martial Anti-Oompa-Loompa-Arts and so soon the Oompa Loompa became an Oompa Lumpa.

            The boy sent himself through the air and turned himself into a mini-little-boy-person inside of the Willy Wonka television.

            It was then that the boy knew that he would spend his life as an extreme pogo sticker.

 

***

            SEVEN YEARS LATER

***

            After seven years the boy found a way to get out of the Willy Wonka TV.

            As it happened, when little boys grow up inside of Willy Wonka televisions, they get four times as tall. Since our boy hero was so short to begin with, by the time he got out of the TV he was back to normal size (if you have any questions about how this was possible, well, I don’t really care).

            The now not-so-small boy found his way out of Willy Wonka’s Factory and decided to go find a pogo stick.

            The boy walked here, the boy walked there, they boy walked pretty much everywhere.

            One day the boy came to a shop called:

            POGO STICKS AND CAMERAS

             The boy walked in. All around him he saw…pogo sticks and cameras.

            His eyes gleamed with the power of seven suns.

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The boy picked out a yellow and black Foam Master pogo stick. He went up to the store owner and set it on the counter.

            “Oh,” the store owner said, “You are lucky…today all young boys get a free camera with the purchase of a pogo stick.”

            “I don’t really want…”

            But the store owner shoved a camera into the young boy’s hand.

            “Now get out of here! Run! Don’t look back until you get home!”

            “But...I didn’t even pay for the pogo…”

            “Get gone!” screamed the store owner, “Take your possessions and get gone!”

            Our young boy hero ran out of the store and into a nearby park.

            He looked down at his new possessions.

            “I…I have a pogo stick…and a camera!”

            The boy quickly forgot the odd store owner and began learning to use his two new belongings.

            After an hour the boy became an accomplished pogo sticker. However, he was not done, oh no.

            NO!

            The boy worked with his new camera and decided that he would also become a famous camera man.

            In fact, the boy liked the sound of that so much that he named himself Cameraman.

            There was only one problem left, where and how could Cameraman use both of skills?

            It was then that the entire Pogo Squad dropped out of the sky. You see, they were out for a healthy day of parachuting.

            Cameraman introduced himself to The Cube and showed The Pogo Squad his mad skills on a Master.

            Everyone in The Pogo Squad was impressed by Cameraman…BUT…they weren’t sure they could take on another member.

            It was then that Cameraman whipped out his camera and offered to film The Pogo Squad during all of their pogo adventures.

            The Cube flashed him a big smile.

            For, you see, The Pogo Squad was in dire need of a camera man.

           

            Myth:

           

            Cameraman owns a Gravity Games that was reborn from the frame of an old, broken stick of death. Cameraman’s favorite trick is a 540 Barspin. He would someday like to land a 900. Cameraman is the Camera Man of The Pogo Squad.

             

Cameraman performs a One Foot Mute Grab
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Cameraman's helmet that he "decaled" himself
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