Mr. Bounce's "Bio"
Mr. Bounce was born a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Well actually not really,
that's already been done, but it sounds good. Let's just say, "he was born on an undiscovered planet, not so far away."
Mr. Bounce was the only guy on the entire planet, so how on Earth (or rather this undiscovered
planet) he was born is a mystery to me. ANYWAY, this planet was incredibly bouncy. In fact it was SO bouncy that Mr.
Bounce could reach heights of almost 100 feet every time he jumped.
The truth was, though, Mr. Bounce got awfully lonely on this uninhabited planet. That and the fact that it didn't have an ounce of food made
living there rather difficult. So one day Mr. Bounce decided he would try to bounce REALLY high and sail toward another
That day came and Mr. Bounce jumped so hard and so high he went sailing off into space. After
quite a few light years he spotted a little green and blue planet in the distance. He decided that this planet would be his
After somehow making it through Earth's atmosphere (a little fly in my ear is telling me this
story is flawed) Mr. Bounce crash landed outside of a Wal-Mart.
The store was so gosh-darn big that Mr. Bounce thought that it must have been the entire planet.
After walking inside his suspicions were confirmed.
Many, many, many, many days later Mr. Bounce made it to the other end of the store and found
a human who looked liked he worked there.
"Excuse me", Said Mr. Bounce (He knew how to speak English...*cough HOW?) "But why is your
planet so incredibly firm and not bouncy??"
The person that Mr. Bounce had walked up to was, in fact, an acne-riddled surly teenager getting
paid minimum wage who, after years of being told he was stupid, dumb, and good for nothing found this job at Wal-Mart
and spent his days barking at everyone about how terrible his life was.
"What?!" said the teenager, "Look man, like, I don't have a clue what you're talking about.
Not bouncy? I'll tell you what's not BOUNCY, being stuck at WAL-MART, like, 40 hours a week because you're no good
at anything and everyone in the world is out to get you!! That's not bouncy! C'mon dude, get with it."
And with that the surly teenager walked away to live a life of misery.
Mr. Bounce however had just spotted a strange looking device sitting on a nearby shelf.
On the box was a picture of a young boy jumping high in the air, just like Mr. Bounce had done on his planet.
Mr. Bounce ran over to the shelf, ripped the thing out of its box and, for the first
time in his life, held a pogo stick. He stepped on it, bounced a little, and then started soaring in the sky. "It's
just like home!" He hooted.
this moment of glee was cut short when security personnel came rushing toward Mr. Bounce.
"Get off the pogo stick!" Shouted one.
"That's not ALLOWED." said another. "Do you wish to purchase this item?"
"No," said Mr. Bounce, "I just want to have it!!" Taking that as their cue the security personnel
charged at Mr. Bounce.
Just at that moment though, in one of the biggest coincidences in the world (or that other
world) all NINE members of the Pogo Squad turned the corner and saw the situation.
Seeing a potential Xpogoer in trouble they too rushed at Mr. Bounce.
The Cube got there first. He threw a wad of cash at the personnel (because he made a
fortune off his NON-PROFIT website *grumble) and shouted "There! I'll pay for it!"
The Pogo Squad taught Mr. Bounce to do some pogo tricks in that aisle. He learned
them immediately and became part of the squad.
And then The Cube, Dcool, Fin, Pogo Bub, Mr. Cuvav, Desaskin, Handlebar, Gumbyecca,
Captain Oblivious, and Mr. Bounce walked off into the fake sunset set up in the Garden section.
Mr. Bounce's name is Alex Dunbar. He has broken 34 pogos and has been pogoing for
about a year. His best tricks are the body wrap and no hands reverse. His current stick is a bottom spring pogo, but
he's getting a Foam Master really soon.